Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Crumbling Society: Social Commentary -- II

A Crumbling Society: Social Commentary -- II

Ladies and gentlemen,

It is officially that time of year again, the point where every little girl in the world turns from being made of sugar and spice and everything nice into the 8 year old equivalent of a telemarketer whose name is Roger from India. (Let's not kid ourselves Roger, your name is Raj, and you know just enough English to annoy me during dinner!) Yup, it's Girl Scout Cookie season folks. For a brief few weeks in February gone are the derelicts preaching the gospel on campuses across America. Instead we are left to suffer psychotic soccer moms hawking treats, all in the hopes of getting their child an extra badge for their sash- and you thought Pageant mom's were bad!

Never has there been a time that makes me prouder and sadder to be an American. On the one hand you have the youth of the nation embracing capitalism and selling products, trying to compete against each other to see who can sell more cookies.

It's a beautiful thing! Let's cherish that while we still can, we all know the new government will soon be giving us all girl scout cookies as part of our tax returns so everyone can enjoy these delicatessens (which have taken a turn for the worse, but I'll get to that later). In the same respect, we complain that the rest of the world is passing us by, that the youth of our nation are stupid. That other nations younger generations are brighter, more gifted, and provide better academic challenges than America. Well how can you argue those points when you have crazy moms taking their kids out of schools so they can sell cookies on a college campus. News flash parents, just cause your kids visit a college in their youth doesn't mean that they will one day get into college. No, on the contrary, in fact your child has to go to school and learn something in order to get to college- and we wonder why our kids are morons. Don't blame X-Box or PlayStation, blame the parents. They are the culprits. Do they leave me alone during my trips to class? No! I just want to learn, maybe your kids should try it? Is a badge on your daughters sash really worth her waiting tables at a Denny's for a living? But hey, 15 years from now, she can bring her daughter to a college near by and show her the awesome badge her mom helped her earn.

Alas, I can at least throw some headphones in my ears and pretend like I don't see them soliciting the rest of my campus. It's the ones that get trapped at work that I feel for. How can one say, "No, that's okay I'm not going to get cookies from your child," with out sounding like a total jerk? Since when did we become a society that had to support our co-workers? I mean really, we only work together? Granted I have great co-workers, but not everyone else does. I mean, have you seen the workforce in this nation? It's embarrassing. Still, when the insane mother of five comes into your cubicle with her order form for cookies, 87 pictures of her girls, another 48 of entire family, and 4 more cute pictures of her dog you suddenly feel obligated to drop 40 bucks on some crappy cookies. Way to go capitalism!

Which brings me to my next point, each year it seems that the price of these cookies are increasing, the size of the cookies are decreasing, and the number of cookies in your box is less. It's outrageous. How can you expect me to buy something that sucks? I mean I understand people by UNC apparel but that's different, they are just mentally unstable. I on the other hand have complete grasp of my senses, yet somehow still feel compelled to purchase these crappy cookies. Maybe this year will be the year that something changes. Maybe this year I'll stop caving in to the blood sucking leeches that sell these sugary sweets. Maybe this year they wont bother me on campus. It wont, I will, and they do. I guess somethings never change.

-Jai Kumar

[Editors Note: This is obviously meant to be funny, let's try not to get too worked about any politics mentioned regardless of how true it maybe. Secondly, I ask you to not reply all, just hit reply to me or create a new e-mail. We again had some issues with this last week. Thanks and Enjoy.]

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